It’s a balancing act of counting
hours on fingers of both hands
how many hours have passed 
since we’ve been up.
Jumping hoops of attempts 
to rationalize the reasons us 
being in yet another environment
has failed to entertain excited viewers
            again.

Followed the desire for continuity
we discounted time for adjustment
to a new fairground and now 
            acclimatizing, 
                        again, 
                                    and again.

Balloons of smiles have escaped momentarily 
even though we genuinely struggled to 
carefully tie or line them up 
and snort fast 
into the cages of our chests, 
          again, 
                     and again. 
                                   and again. 


Jealousy, envy, passion to be 
a champion in everyone’s adoration –
main demons that can turn anyone 
into a monster 
                       and then 
                                    into a clown.

They are lost in the crowd’s laughter, 
dull, hollow clanks of applause,
swallowed by echoes of a voice 
that’s no longer theirs.

Eyes turn inward, searching 
the empty stage,
where the mask peels off, 
                    and silence 
                                    deafens
more than the highest speakers.

It’s there, free of admission,
in the quiet of canopy of solitude
they finally see — the reflection twisted, 
a stranger
                 laughing 
                                  back.